It seems that when hard things come our way we tend to keep them to ourselves. For whatever reason we don't want others to be burdened with our problems, or we think that things are far worse for someone else, or we don't want to sound like we are asking for pity. Those are the things that I think or feel when I hit a rocky spot in life. But since this is somewhat of a journal for our family I want to remember the bad with the good, the ups and the downs.
I recently found out that I was having a miscarriage. It all happened something like this: at the end of November I had my period right on time...give or take a day or two. But it seemed to go on and on and on to the point where I began to wonder if there was something more going on. After 10 or 11 days I said to Josh..."maybe I should go in and see if there's something else going on" he agreed and said "do you think you could be having a miscarriage" I didn't think so. After all I had just had my period, right? After about 15 days I decided that I should really get things checked out. I called my OB's office...who has changed groups since I've had Hayden. The receptionist said that they did not take my insurance. WHAT? I needed to see him! So I called his wife's office and asked if I could be seen by her. She was so booked she wouldn't be able to see me until the end of January...umm pretty sure I needed this problem solved before then! But there was another Dr. that could see me the middle of the next week... whatever I guess that's better than a month or two. The receptionist said that I should go take a pregnancy test and call her back if it was positive. I said "I'm not going to be pregnant, I just had my period" she said it was the first thing they do for all women of child bearing age. OK. I happened to have a preg. test so I went and took it. It was immediately positive. I instantly broke down. I KNEW this was not a good thing. I called her back and through tears explained who I was and that I had just talked to her. I told her it was positive and then I just bawled to this sweet stranger on the other end of the phone. I explained that I had had 2 miscarriages in the past and I had a 6 month old son. So I knew this was not a good thing. She said that they would put in orders for me to go have my blood drawn to check my HCG levels. Alone...Hayden was taking a nap and Josh was at school...I sat on the sofa and bawled! I called Josh but he was in the basement of the school so he did not have service. I tried calling him multiple times within a 2 minute period. Then I called my Mom...you NEVER stop needing your Mom. She answered and I just sat there and cried before I could even speak. Finally I told her what had happened. She tried to reassure me by telling me that It might be okay. It might work out and we might just have another baby. I told her I doubted it because I knew that when this happens and you are pregnant it's NOT good. I have to admit I did entertain thoughts about the possibility of what my Mom was telling me. That brought a whole different world of concerns...they would be 14 months apart...how would I do it. My Mom seriously is the best. She listened to me, cried with me and reassured me that she was there for me. Sometime within the next 30 minutes Josh called me...when he realized how many times I had called him in such a short time he knew something was wrong. I gave him a recap of what just happened. He of course was sweet and understanding and said go get your blood drawn and we'll see what happens. I decided to call Dr. Constantine and see if I could speak to him. He knows my history, he's my Dr. and I wanted to see what he thought. He called me back and I told him what was going on. He said he had already talked to the office manager and they were going to see me because I was his previous patient. I went and had my blood drawn to see what my HCG levels were and then went to see him. He gave me medicine to make the bleeding stop and told me that I needed to have my blood drawn every week until my HCG level was back to zero.
I recently found out that I was having a miscarriage. It all happened something like this: at the end of November I had my period right on time...give or take a day or two. But it seemed to go on and on and on to the point where I began to wonder if there was something more going on. After 10 or 11 days I said to Josh..."maybe I should go in and see if there's something else going on" he agreed and said "do you think you could be having a miscarriage" I didn't think so. After all I had just had my period, right? After about 15 days I decided that I should really get things checked out. I called my OB's office...who has changed groups since I've had Hayden. The receptionist said that they did not take my insurance. WHAT? I needed to see him! So I called his wife's office and asked if I could be seen by her. She was so booked she wouldn't be able to see me until the end of January...umm pretty sure I needed this problem solved before then! But there was another Dr. that could see me the middle of the next week... whatever I guess that's better than a month or two. The receptionist said that I should go take a pregnancy test and call her back if it was positive. I said "I'm not going to be pregnant, I just had my period" she said it was the first thing they do for all women of child bearing age. OK. I happened to have a preg. test so I went and took it. It was immediately positive. I instantly broke down. I KNEW this was not a good thing. I called her back and through tears explained who I was and that I had just talked to her. I told her it was positive and then I just bawled to this sweet stranger on the other end of the phone. I explained that I had had 2 miscarriages in the past and I had a 6 month old son. So I knew this was not a good thing. She said that they would put in orders for me to go have my blood drawn to check my HCG levels. Alone...Hayden was taking a nap and Josh was at school...I sat on the sofa and bawled! I called Josh but he was in the basement of the school so he did not have service. I tried calling him multiple times within a 2 minute period. Then I called my Mom...you NEVER stop needing your Mom. She answered and I just sat there and cried before I could even speak. Finally I told her what had happened. She tried to reassure me by telling me that It might be okay. It might work out and we might just have another baby. I told her I doubted it because I knew that when this happens and you are pregnant it's NOT good. I have to admit I did entertain thoughts about the possibility of what my Mom was telling me. That brought a whole different world of concerns...they would be 14 months apart...how would I do it. My Mom seriously is the best. She listened to me, cried with me and reassured me that she was there for me. Sometime within the next 30 minutes Josh called me...when he realized how many times I had called him in such a short time he knew something was wrong. I gave him a recap of what just happened. He of course was sweet and understanding and said go get your blood drawn and we'll see what happens. I decided to call Dr. Constantine and see if I could speak to him. He knows my history, he's my Dr. and I wanted to see what he thought. He called me back and I told him what was going on. He said he had already talked to the office manager and they were going to see me because I was his previous patient. I went and had my blood drawn to see what my HCG levels were and then went to see him. He gave me medicine to make the bleeding stop and told me that I needed to have my blood drawn every week until my HCG level was back to zero.
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